Bracelets

Men in jewellery?  Apparently it can be known as mewellery although there is a good chance it shouldn't be known as that.  The kind of narrow-minded thinking that wants to reduce two words into one is the exact opposite of our aims this week.

Back to the question though, I think it is pretty obvious men such as ourselves should be comfortable in jewellery and lots of it.  Imagine stepping out and seeing someone in the same deep v as you?  The only way you will be considered the trendier gentleman is to have taken things too far and put on shiny metal that has been deemed valuable for no real reason.  Or even more absurd, a gem stone that isn't even useful for things such as conducting electricity.  Think how good a blogger could look coated in gold and emeralds?  Walking down the street, rather than the usual fear of mockery, there would only be respect at the deceptive aura of wealth and an understanding that you are wearing lots of jewellery because you are good at stuff.

I found a quote that suggested we were not going the right direction with this trend:

"James Bond wouldn’t wear a bracelet"

And yet while not a bracelet per se, he would, it seems wear a tiara.  And he'd wear it well.

We decided tiaras would get broken or stolen during the evening and could also come under the headwear category.  Not wanting to mix up trends or suffer emotional turmoil  we settled on bracelets; easy to stack, cheap, awesome looking and jangly.

To prepare for the extraordinary weight of some serious wrist hardware we hit the gym, 6 months later we headed out covered in bracelets.  When we met we discovered one of us had turned up in a combination of ladies bracelets and hair bobbles that were likely to cut off the blood supply to an increasingly sore hand, while the other was draped in a manly wood and rope ensemble.  The key thing being neither of us gave off the appearance of a manacled prisoner, no, we both looked magnificent.  The other key is to make sure you don't spell it wrong when searching on Amazon, unless you want to wear a spikey bra on your arm.

Arriving at the bar, the barman began to reach for the Dom Perignon (or at least Jacobs Creek Sparkling), certain that, in such fine jewellery, we were in Wetherspoons to spend big.  One glitterbomb each later he was convinced that we were rich in style, ambition and pizzazz but poor in money and; possessing very poor taste in drinks.

Managing to leave Wetherspoons unscathed we made urgent progress towards the same entrance of Floyds.  Carrying around such a vulgar display of wealth on our forearms was beginning to test our courage.  While we usually crave massive attention towards our trends, tonight we were scared by every passing glance, you could tell people wanted to strip our arms to the skin.

Floyds itself proved to be empty so we got out of there fast, not wanting to risk tiring our laden arms out superfluously. 

At Live Lounge we had a feeling the bracelets weren't all that noticeable after all.  In spite of trying hard even tall men didn't seem to be noticing our excessive arm bling.

To try and compensate for this lack of presence, we headed for a drink where we would be able to slap our wrists down on bar and really milk the wow factor of a braceleted man.  Unfortunately we chose a bar where bracelets were common as muck.  Look at this man in the photo below, he doesn't even care that I am sporting thrilling hoops, nor even that I want serving.  No, he is too busy showing me the full length of his awfully dull bracelets to even consider how favourable my arm looks.

Gratuitous show of wealth

What could we do if even a single vodka lemonade couldn't help?

It is likely that a whole many more bracelets are required if you want people to pick you out in a crowd of deep v wearers.  So the clear TTC trend advice is to make sure no arm flesh is showing, cover every bit up with beautiful bracelets not only will you look spectacular but you will be super jangly.

Bracelets; get lots, make sure they aren't hair bobbles!
 

TTC is now a big presence on Instagram