The Ultimate Outfit - Winter 13/14

Winter 13/14 has been an odd one. The rain has been a major factor, the winter chill has been around but not terrible, and so far the snow has managed to stay away for the majority of the UK. As March takes hold some may consider that it is Spring, but at TTC we don't. Instead we are most pleased to announce The Ultimate Outfit - Winter 13/14

Putting the Winter 13/14 edition of Trend The Consequences together was fun, and we have looked at some trends that may not be pushing the boundary, but that is apparently what the fashion gurus are producing this year. And while the fashion may have not pushed the boundaries, save for a few choice items, the reactions have been extreme. Either we have been the centre of attention to a level that fills us with crippling dread or we have slipped by unnoticed, bitterly resenting people who can't spot seriously stylish men who just want to be appreciated with verbal comments. A lot of money has been spent trying to keep warm and trendy, but with the limited Winter pallet on offer this season we've had to snap up the choice items whatever the cost. 

Choosing the Ultimate Outfit was a fairly simple one, Animal print was a clear standout in terms of positive feedback from the masses and was clearly the first choice into the outfit. Chunky knit came out second, with its warming properties and big style, it had earned its place. We decided that the bobble hat, worn during the Urban Survival evening warranted a place due to its outstanding performance during the evening and casting a shadow on the other articles of clothing. Finally, in case of a sudden Winter Armageddon we opted for the reassuring practicality of the hiking boot, also from the Urban Survival night.

The Winter 13/14 Ultimate Outfit

Following the worst experience of this whole blog on the return home from the Urban Survival night, James opted to modify his boots using some premium quality Wicks silver fabric tape.  This was chosen as it is the closet type of tape to clothing thus is basically fashion.  Secondly, and more importantly, a silver lined shoe insole was certain to reflect escaping foot warmth back into the body providing significant heat retention and so a much greater chance of survival if an inch of snow fell.

Fashion is our job but engineering is our passion :(

With the night starting in Gatekeeper, I walked the 30 minute journey in complete bliss, the combination of knits and prints were doing the perfect job of maintaining a pleasant core body temperature (the only temperature a trendy young professional really cares about). Seeing James in the pub, and it was clear that the correct choice had been made. People were not really noticing the trendy gear too much, but that's not a surprise as the average Wetherspoons customer is about as trendy as a guppy fish.

But not this Guppy, this one is trendy as hell in his permanent animal print

On the other hand, the abnormal Wetherspoons customer is highly instinctive and sensitive to the changing fashions of the seasons, particularly when they've read about them on certain blogs (this blog).  During the 15 minutes sat waiting for our non-trendy group members to bring us some adventurous and disgusting real ales on offer that night (just get us cherry assault bombs next time please) we observed:

• One lady in sumptuous and wintry red trousers;
• Two adult males in bobble hats - one also wearing some particularly chunky knitwear around his neck;
• Two further gents in less bobbly beanies;
• One tasteful temptress in a leopard print coat.

It was immediately clear that these people had been reading our winter season of blog posts with a calescent passion that was in danger of warming up the UK to a level where winter fashion became irrelevant. Consider that the leopard print post had been out for 7 days and this lady had already changed her entire wardrobe for a night out in Wetherspoons.

A few drinks were taken in, and we got the hell to Floyds, where it was surprisingly busy.

At the door we were told, somewhat shockingly, no hats. Could Floyds have been displaying double standards to the last time we got in with the same bobble hats just because we were so well dressed? Eyes instantly turned upon entering, and it was clear that the ensemble we were sporting had made a serious impact on people's arousal. The animal print was dazzling, whilst the snood was warm and inviting. The thing that was most obvious was that it was far too warm a night to be jigging about while dressed for icy carnage and as such the Floyds Jagerbomb deal was heartily appreciated, providing that refreshing jager chill.

One of the key dangers associated with headgear, as we have stated previously, is the hat grab. This ugly practise reared its head again Floyds. Within seconds of being on the dance floor I was ambushed and the hat was gone. 

Somehow still smiling following another hat grab 

The beauty of the Ultimate Outfit Winter 13/14 is the versatility. With my main headgear gone I immediately deployed the snood and the reassuring sweaty brow was resumed. A minute later the hat was returned and the night could continue. This wasn't to be the last incident though...

Once in Live Lounge the feedback was coming thick and fast. Upon entering, both James and I were grabbed by a bloke and his girlfriend to ask about the 'fancy dress'. We quickly corrected him saying that we were wearing the trendiest gear of Winter 13/14, and maybe a short look in the mirror at his skinny jeans and lack of snood may just give him a reality check on what 'fancy dress' might be (although there is nothing fancy about a chap wearing a pair of jeans that had been left on during a growth spurt and now are a permanent feature). Quickly moving on, we got drinks and got back to jigging about. Unfortunately James decided not to take any picture of me, so the only photos from here on are of mustard snood and yellow and grey bobble.

As the night progressed a cult following was forming. Three hangers on began with the usual questions of the over-warmth possibilities with such a large snood and hat, we gave our best alcohol-fuelled nonchalant dismissal of such notions, reminding them that looking too hot in our gear was more of a risk than actually overheating. The questions quickly became repeated seals of approval, things we already knew, such as our braveness and perspicacity. We would've preferred it if they had just gone and got some leopard print and a hiking boot each.

Layered hats - a much more successful look than the Layered V

The night set in and we were feeling very nice and wintry and out of nowhere tragedy struck. James suddenly had no hat on. Spinning round he discovered a rather dishevelled looking chap sporting his exact hat - this was likely the culprit. One second later the hat had vanished from his head! What kind of treachery was afoot? This man seemed far to out of it to have pulled off such a stunt unless he was a magician of the scale of the mighty Criss Angel (once he got from the top of a building to the bottom).

The next 20 minutes were spent trawling the cesspit of Live Lounge scum, searching desperately for the yellow bobble hat. Resigned, James decided it was time to go home while his feet were still unmelted. Clearly one of Live Lounge's clientele had increased their trendiness tenfold over the course of the evening.

To conclude the Ultimate Outfit Winter 13/14 we can confidently say the outfit was a major success, providing excessive warmth, extravagant style and numerous talking points to discuss with new friends. We also learnt that people will pull off audacious stunts, and emotionally crush others, to get a piece of Trend The Consequences memorabilia. If Spring warrants any head based fashion it will certainly include a chin strap.