Autumn Winter Ultimate Outfit 14/15

Winter has left us finally, which means in the usual almost-relevant fashion we better present Trend The Consequences Autumn Winter Ultimate Outfit 2014/2015.

It hasn't been a terribly bracing winter and autumn was probably damp but entirely forgettable.  To compensate for the blandness of the seasons the clothes had to step it up the extravagant, while remaining sartorially appropriate (manket anyone?).  Considering the incredible reactions we've had this season we actually had to think more carefully about what not to include, particularly as we can be sweaty men and so needed to regulate our core temperature during the late-winter thawing.  

As you've probably been able to guess we chose Russian hats on top, orange turtle necks on the torso, accessorised with sunglasses, and finished with sporty but formal shoes. 

Level Of Warmth

In spite of the inexorable February warmth creeping in we were actually very comfortable inside and out.  Due to the now trusted high performance base layer worn with the turtle neck not only were our nipples hidden to prudish levels but we appeared (though weren't) sweat frthey'r all while operating at an extreme level of performance not normally associated with a man in a turtle neck.  

We looked like the opposite of this guy, nipply speaking

Interactions With The Common Man

This happened a number of times, be it to see what sunglasses looked like or because of fluffy hats, they just couldn't get enough of our warming grace.  The common man doesn't notice turtle necks though, which suggests he doesn't appreciate the blank canvas a neck offers for fashionable folded nylon.  Anyway, we met a few men and usually they wanted to try out our items.  As were in the big city we let them without hesitation not wishing to risk "a slap". 

Hand raised to strike me, hopefully he won't ask for the turtle neck as well :(

Clearly the man above is actually just happy to be involved in the trend.  In reality, everyone loved everything we did and we found a number of hug related bruises the next day.  

One man stood out and doesn't deserve to be mentioned under the Common Man heading, but alas there is no way I am creating another section to discuss more men.

What is that draped tastefully across his neck?

Yes, one admirable and handsome gentleman brought his own turtle neck to the party and look how much more content with life he looks than the rest.  It's not often you get someone giving such a sanguine yet understated thumbs up, wow!

Areas For Caution

One lass seemed to hassle us throughout the evening, each time trying to take our glasses while insisting we didn't have a blog (we do though durr).  This was certainly due to the irresistible nature of our nipple free chests; be sensible with your nipple free chests gentlemen.

Clearly the glasses don't work without the sporty formal shoes and fluffy hat

Another unexpected, though obvious with hindsight, thing to consider before dressing as we did is that the AW1415 collection can actually make you inordinately happy. 

They really are fun items to wear

Finally, wearing sunglasses in a night club can make you feel invincible. 

The disconnected feeling of sunglasses in a dark room

This is definitely a seasonal collection worth trying out and only the turtle neck required shopping in a different country.  Watch out for TTC AW1516 as we will probably be wearing all this again saving us money (we seriously need to) and disappointment. 

Sports Formal

It's universally understood that sports shouldn't be undertaken during the winter cold and that if necessary a vicarious thrill can be had following the glamorous lads on TV who for some reason have opted to play during this unpleasant time of the year.  Because of this we are inundated with pleas for help; what to do with all these lovely sportswear pieces during winter?

The answer is, of course, obviously Sports Formal.  This is a dizzying take on run of the mill active wear combined with anything that normally looks good.  Sometimes it is known as Haute Casual Couture, but here at Trend The Consequences we only use words we understand.

The Sporty Item
Following a lot of research, and considering the chill in the February air, we plumped for a Primark varsity jacket.  We hoped this would provide us a pleasant thermal experience and also the chance to represent our preferred sports team.  The jacket was paired with a smart white shirt, smart trousers, trainers and sunglasses (which can be worn on the face or dangled from the V of the shirt).  Shirt and trousers were ironed.

Other sporty options we contemplated included male lycra and scrum caps with pant suits. 

On reflection, we should've done this

Practicality
The varsity jacket proved to be the perfect level of warmth for a brisk walk to town, it was also very soft and enjoyable to feel.  The glasses helped to temper the blinding lights of Live Lounge and the trousers were light and airy.  It was actually pretty much without fault.

The Star Attraction
The jackets were well received by the city folk, with one dashing gentleman coming up to us during an acoustic guitar set and stating that the jackets were fabulous - it is always good to meet people who aren't afraid to agree with us.

The glasses are what set us apart from the regular schmucks though.  At first we were expecting a hostile reaction to shades indoors, particularly in a night club, but there was no need, people adored them.   Ladies wanted to be with them, men wanted to be them, the glasses almost had the charisma of a prominent hat.  The glasses actually made us feel a bit like pieces of meat, useful only for hanging stylish things off.

Most Distressing Experience
Suddenly, and likely maliciously based on previous headwear experiences in Live Lounge, my glasses fell to the floor. This caused two levels of distress, the obvious shock at my frames clattering to the floor, but also the blinding lights blasting across my unprotected retinas.  A frantic inspection of the surrounding floor and they were spied underneath an oblivious man's foot.  Initially I tugged at them gently, then, realising this was the method of a fool I asked him to release them by moving the offending foot.

He was distraught, thinking the glasses were ruined, while the girl he was with considered leaving him. Thankfully they were only severely bent.  Placing them back on my face, I reassured him we were "cool"  and with that I sauntered off with a subtle grace, as only a man in work trousers could. 

Fingerless Gloves

You would be forgiven for associating fingerless gloves with burglars and the homeless, however it seems that in the past, the fingerless glove was actually popular with the wealthy classes. Well now the hipsters are taking them back, with every other trend once extinct and left for the homeless to pull out of a bin.

The Purchase
It may seem that fingerless gloves are everywhere this season, however obtaining ones other than the mono-chromatic tripe found in the local Primark is not that easy. However, when I opened up my boundaries and looked in the kids section of Cardiff's Peacocks, I found the perfect set. It even comprised of two pairs for the price of one so that James and I were both catered for. Yes, the fit wasn't exactly perfect, however the form hugging nature of a child's glove does mean that grip is less hindered. When purchasing, the lady at the till questioned, 'these are a lovely choice of gloves for your daughter?' Flirtingly hoping I would prove my fertility, hop over the counter and flood her fallopian tubes with potent seed. Alas, this was not the case, and I corrected her by saying the gloves were actually chosen as the subject of TTC's latest trend to scrutinise.

The gloves in question

The Night
Unfortunately the night didn't result in much of interest to regale here. There was the usual fun and frolics with convivial lads but with TTC becoming more and more popular, and James' and my personalities being so likable, we find that if a trend is not Super Amazing then we are the stars of the evening and not the fashionable items we are sporting. This is the case for the fingerless glove. Yes, they did provide some warmth to the hands whilst walking between venues, but the punters inside only cared for the people within the gloves:

Case in point: no gloves to be seen, just pure emotion

Most Useful Bonus Feature
A common theme that runs through our arduous evenings in Cardiff is the quantity of sweat produced - a quantity that would disgust the stars of Channel 4's Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. As we aren't allowed to take man-towels or entire rolls of Tesco's Ultra Absorbent Kitchen Towel into Live Lounge, we usually just accept that we will drip and as a consequence massively increase the risk of an embarrassing slip onto the sticky, lonely dance floor. Not this night though! Our methods weren't complicated, as demonstrated below:

Drying up nicely

A Side Effect
Glove wearing does seem to result in unnecessary hand holding, but maybe that is exactly where friendships are forged!