Turn-up shorts

If you have been perusing the shopping aisles of late, you will have surely noticed the number of shorts on sale. This is not only due to the better weather we are having, but because shorts are 'in' at the moment. I am not talking about the lame short shorts your dad wears, I'm talking about the new craze of shorts that turn up at the bottom. However this begs a question in my books. I can understand why trousers get turned up, as this is to ensure they do not drag on the floor when you walk. But the whole point in shorts is that they are already short enough, and the people I see with turned up shorts, still have them knee length? So why not buy shorter shorts to start with, but then fashion is not about form and function; fashion is about proving one's superiority through the act of clothing oneself in fancy attire.

This guy is actually wearing turn-up shorts and a hat

So into town I go to find the correct clothing for the evening and let me tell you, shorts are not as cheap as they should be. For less material, I have to pay similar prices to a pair of full length trousers. But that is the way of the world, and I am sure the virality of this blog will pay back with interest. I picked up a pair of denim knee length shorts, but at the time I didn't think to try them on. Usually I have a hard time finding trousers that comfortably fit my thighs, but shorts are always OK. James picked up a hot pair of salmon turn-ups, and we went home.

Preparing for the evening, I have the issue of what to wear as a top. Finally opting for a polo, as everything else seemed bad with the shorts (James clearly had the same dilemma as I received a text saying "I look dumb as. Also I have gone for a polo shirt if that's OK?"). It took three attempts to get the top of the shorts around my waist without my boxers becoming a thong, these things were tight as hell. I have a pair of compression tights that are put to shame by these shorts, and I could tell this was going to be a long night as even walking was not a simple task anymore.

It was only then that I had the problem of what to do with my shoes! I only own a pair of boots, a pair of 'skate' shoes and two pairs of work shoes. None of these fitted with the rest of the outfit; The skate shoes looked like massive hooves, the work shoes made me look like a sex offender and with hindsight the boots probably would have been the best bet. However skate shoes it was, and getting my socks on was a chore. I had to hopelessly writhe around on my bed trying to reach my feet. Finally getting the boat-like shoes on, it was a long and chafing walk to town.

On meeting James in the Gatekeeper, I had learnt a lesson about my body. Apparently my testicles are very very claustrophobic; they do not enjoy (and I'd probably go as far as to say hate) being in a confined space. A few drinks in, we realised that shorts were not the first thing people look at when in a pub. There was a clear sign that we were gonna have to work hard for people to notice and provide the valued feedback we require.

Varying levels of tightness

One major benefit of the short is the amount of calf muscle on show. As we had only decided a couple days before that turn up shorts would be the trend for this night out, no major calf work could be done. However, the man allowing good preparation could really take advantage of this fact.

Little to no calf definition... YET

In Charlie Browns, where you need to walk down the stairs to get to the bar, we had our first feedback. People at the bottom of the stairs had noticed our style, they were pointing and whispering to each other. Although we can only speculate on the content of their discussions, I can only assume they were good due to the massive smiles they all had on their faces.

The night ended in Live Lounge, and here we were actively seeking reviews. James asked a girl what she thought of the style, and with a quick feel up my leg, she only had good things to say. This theme continued through the rest of the night, with people loving the style. We even managed to find another chap wearing very similar shorts to James', which goes a little way to showing the population's view on the style.

Maybe a little too similar?

Another persons turn up shorts, but this guy has boots! Why oh why didn't I wear boots!!!!!

A hurdle we came across was that too many other people were in shorts due to the extreme sun on offer that day. The knock on effect of this was that we were commonly dressed and while we aim to hit the current styles, being a bit niche helps us gain accurate feedback. To make up for this, once we were outside we hit Queens Street and started barraging people for a moment of their time, like a clipboarder but without the same financial implications of speaking to us. A trio of respectable young chaps, when hounded for an opinion on my shorts, each had remarkable words to say. They even kept it fresh by having different words each. I can't recall the words exactly but they were more interesting than merely "Good".

Once out of Live Lounge and on the streets of Cardiff, I decided a Burger King was in order. The evening had been emotional with the amount of pressure my loins had been subjected to! As I was finishing my burger, I decided eating in would be the better option due to the simple fact that in the shorts walking by itself was a chore so the addition of eating to this would be impossible, a young chap and his friend started a conversation with me. This conversation started unlike most, with the main chap's friend telling me that his mate fancied me. This flattering feedback was taken very well by yours truly, and my immediate question was whether the shorts were part of his emotional attraction. He initially looked puzzled (I assume this was because the answer was obvious, how could the shorts not be part of the attraction due to the awesome effect it had on displaying all my key areas!) and then went on to say the shorts were 'pleasant along with everything else'. Now I hate to be stereotypical, but if there is a single group of people who are up to speed with the latest trends, it is the gay community. Therefore this comment really defines the power that turn up shorts hold.

Turn Up Shorts; Cooling, calf framing and apparently sexy.